Monólogos

[Diva Depravation]

Zas
Tras
Plas
XD
Rolfmao
O como decis vosotros
LOL

[killercomet]

George Carlin. 

Words we've sort of decided "well, we won't use them all the time".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmZfYyctiuo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtqHoUgPiBQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLuMr4YHLQY&feature=related

[Sandman]

"My horse broke his leg, I'll have to fuck him, I'll be right back"

jajajajaja

Tiene muy buenos puntos, pero hay que saber inglés y tal.

[killercomet]

Pues sí, claro, sabiendo inglés gana.
Si eso abrimos un hilo para los cómicos en inglés.

Meanwhile Eddie Izzard

Darth Vader en la cantina de la Estrella de la Muerte

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp69rg6Hdlo

Aquí está la transcripción:

So ehh yeah but the Death Star, the one thing about the Death Star was that there was no food. No one had food at all. No food at all. No one said,  "Hey, Darth Vader, Emperor, just nipping down to alpha beta 9.  What d'you want?  Couple of sunnys?  Um, chicken, ham, ham, chicken, egg, what?  Coke?  Diet Coke?  What d'you want?  What d'you want?  You weird bleeders!"
But there must've been a Death Star canteen, yeah? There must've been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles where Darth Vader could just chill and go down
"I will have the penne al'arrabiata."
"You'll need a tray."
"Do you know who I am?"
"Do you know who I am?"
"This is not a game of who the fuck are you. For I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought."
"Well, you'll still need a tray."
"No, I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray with the power of the Force, which is strong within me. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor."
"No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on."
"Oh, I see the food is hot. I'm sorry I... I did not realize. Haha ah haha...Oh...tray for the f....yes. I thought you were challenging me to the fight to the death."
"A fight to the death? This a canteen, I work here."
"Yes, but I am Vader, I am Lord Vader. Everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. Lord Vader? Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader. Sir Lord Vader? Sir Lord Darth Vader? Lord Darth Sir Lord, Lord Vader of Cheem? Sir Lord Baron Von Vader Ham? The Death Star. I run the Death Star."
"What's the Death Star?"
"This is the Death Star! You're in the Death Star! I run this star!"
"This is a star?"
"This is a fucking star! I run it! I'm your boss."
"You're Mr. Stevens?"
"No, I'm...Who is Mr. Stevens?"
"He's Head of Catering."
"I'm not Head of Catering! I am Vader, I can kill catering with a thought."
"Wha?"
"I can kill you all! I can kill me with a thought! Just...fine, I'll get a tray! Fuck it!
This one's wet, and this one's wet and this one's wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. Did you dry these in a rainforest? Why, with the power of the Death Star do we not have a tray that is fucking dry? I do not... No, no, no! I was here first!"
"You have to form a queue if you want food. Can I have uh....Ooo, penne al'arrabiata. That'd be very nice."
"No, no, no! Do you know who I am?"
"That's Jeff Vader that is!"
"I am not Jeff Vader, I am Darth Vader."
"What? Jeff Vader runs the Death Star?"
"No, Jeff....No, I run the Death Star."
"You Jeff Vader?"
"No, I'm Darth Vader."
"Are you his brother? Could you get his autograph?"
"I can't get his....No, I'm Jeff...Alright, I'm Jeff Vader! I'm Jeff Vader!"
"Could I have your autograph?"
"No, fuck off or I'll kill you with a tray! Give me penne al'arrabiata or you shall die! And you and everyone in this canteen! Death by tray it shall be!"
"Do you want peas with that?"
"Peas! You don't have peas! You can't put in right in...you can't put...it doesn't work with penne! Unless you push 'em up the penne tubes and then it'd be weird! Just oh... Oh alright! Put some peas in. "
That was cut out on the final film.

[Memnoch]

Si eso abrimos un hilo para los cómicos en inglés.

Por favor.

[Sandman]

Pues este también es cojonudo.

Hay que ver lo que se pierde uno por no investigar vídeos en inglés xD

[Maik]

Joder, me rio porque oigo a los demas reirse. No poseo un nivel de ingles como para entenederlos de carrerilla. Aunque fuesen subtitulos en ingles yo me conformaba.

[killercomet]

De alguno se puede hacer una transcripción y/o traducción.

¿Hay algún programa fácil para el vil subtitule?

Es una pena que la peña se los pierda, porque en general hay mucha más tradición de stand-up comedy en los países sajones y hay vídeos muy muy buenos.

[Sandman]

Pues todos los programas de edición de vídeo tienen cosas para subtitule. Incluso el Windows Movie Maker de mierda tiene, que así hice yo el vídeo de publicidad del foro.

Para bajarte los videos de youtube cambias youtube por bajaryoutube en la barra de direcciones y luego necesitas un convertidor a .avi (lo digo por si te animas a ello)

Y si encuentras más ponlos aquí, porque son cojonudos.

[killercomet]

Otro pal saco.

Rhod Gilbert - Luggage Problems

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGAD1uTR1SY